I won’t dance, don’t ask me
I won’t dance, don’t ask me
I won’t dance, monsieur, with you
My heart won’t let my feet do things they should do.

When you dance you’re charming and you’re gentle,
And you, oh, what you do to me!

And that’s why I won’t dance, why should I?
I won’t dance, how could I?
I won’t dance, merci beaucoup

I know that music leads the way to romance.
So if I hold you in my arms I won’t dance.

(edited for unedifying content)

Time again for my… Thinking Chair! Right! Scientists debate whether or not people dream in color. You’d think they could break it down logically but, no. Here we step in to lead the way on this important discovery…

Now you may be saying “Of course I dream in color!” But the question here is: are you lying to yourself? Think, for example, if you were blind would you then dream in color? Claro que no! And that’s because you’d have never seen it. Point being the only reason you know it’s there is because your mind tells you so. (Here we might add something about a tree falling down in the woods… but let’s stick to the subject at hand.) There. You’re putting way too much emphasis on that brain of yours. Your mind also tells you you’re in pain or hungry etc… but what does he know? Shut it down with a few nerve killing meds and you forget all about it. What’s more, can you remember it? Of course not! As that would make life unbearable. Sure you remember it hurt real bad cause you can associate it with your tears or cries – ouch! OUCH! OUCH! and in the same way you can recall color with word association but in all reality it probably resembles more of a color by number.

Where does color come from anyways? Light, right? And, unless you have some disturbing third eye, the only way for it to enter is through your eyes which should, during sleep, remain shut. Sure a little can seep through your eyelids but no more than what you’d get on a starless night.

So now I’ll ask again, and think carefully before responding inoluntarily. Do you dream in color? … It’s all right. You can quit struggling now. You’ve won the victory over yourself. I read this quote that will probably soothe your bewildered mind as it’s more relevant than the original by Kipling. “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation.” In other words – I’m not the emperor who’s naked. You would be the fool.

Congratulations, Angie! We always knew you’d carry on our line! We are proud to be called Aunts. We love you xxx!

No, those smiles aren’t forced. They come with the joy of having just filled two buckets! And, yes, they really are posing with $#!%. As the saying goes “Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.” And, really, what could be better? Already I find them hanging on my arm begging for the chance to do it again and fighting over who will get to carry the bucket. How simple are the joys of youth.

Copyright © 2009 LG

And what’s romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything as you like it, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it’s always daisy-time.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.

Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at us, conclusions grow up in us like fungus: one morning they are there, we know not how, and they gaze upon us, morose and gray. Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him.

Burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.  In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.

‘Well!’ thought Alice to herself, ‘after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they’ll all think me at home! And we do. It’s not a lot of people that will give everything up like that to go to places uncertain. We love you! You will be missed!

How can you not love a face like that and the man behind it? So maybe he does have his defects, and maybe that smile is a little on the large side. But, that face will never get angry, and that smile isn’t limited to only one person. You may think he’s YOUR Sugarplum, or YOUR Lover Pumpkin, but he’s MY Treasure, and so long as he shies away from samples in cheese factories, I intend to keep it that way! … Happy Birthday!

Because we love our nationals we become one! We LOVE You, Tiffany!

Jesus gave to me 12 deer in a killing!

Bet you didn’t know I could do that, did you? But here they are skinned, gutted, and ready to be processed. Makes you think 2wice about messin’ with me, huh, and you should.

Copyright © 2009 LG

Jesus gave to me home after traveling back and forth for weeks on end through these ^%**$# 11 states…

Copyright © 2009 LG